News at 6:Attack of the mummy mindrapist

[vile]

The Blonde Bimbo anchorwoman makes her appearance on the six o'clock news, bleached hair frizzled and dry like the scorched earth in the city parks. The ruby red lipstick and copious amounts of paint sloshed onto her face only enhances the grimace-inducing appearance.

"The city is becoming dangerous to enter and be about in, it seems. Between the insectoid invaders from the planet Mars, continuing war between mutants and those seeking to make dampeners mandatory, it's getting hairy out there. The events that transpired last night on the corner of Anywhere Avenue and Convenient Street only make that all the more apparent.

"Reports are sketchy, as the eyewitnesses only recall entering a strange dream-like land, some experiencing the worst nightmares of their life while others had a peaceful experience. META and the police suspect that this was a psychic attack launched by an apprehended suspect, who remains unidentified.

"Witnesses on the scene who were not affected by the source of memorization report seeing large numbers of people frozen in place, all staring at a single point in the intersection. Several mutants believed to be attending school at the local Cobalt Academy arrived on the scene and engaged the suspect. One female mutant, the same one who was seen attempting to rescue a man several nights ago from a spider related attack, stabbed the suspect. She was soon followed by a male who summarily executed the suspect by slashing her throat.

"The group of mutants fled the scene and are requested to contact either the local police or their closest META agency to file a report." a police sketch of both Lou and Devon flash across the screen, "But META requests that anyone with information regarding the location of either of these individuals to call their toll-free tip line at the following number.

"And we also have a video, one captured by the same Chad Brotaski that captured the spider attack days prior. We'll roll that feed now." the video, grainy and jerky thanks to being shot on a cell phone, starts playing. It shows cars parked at the intersection. Many people stand around, staring at a hideous black thing crumpled in the middle of the street. It appears black with large golden patches randomly placed on its body. But the video abruptly pauses then changes to a different film! It's a slideshow of a hysterically tiny set of male genitalia, shown multiple times, followed by a notably large piece of excrement in a toilet. A Blonde Bimbo can be heard, "Oh god Tim, turn that off!"

The images disappear from the screen, leaving a mortified Bimbo staring into the camera. There's a long amount of silence from her trying to scrape together words. "I-I'm sorry. My producer screened the footage earlier but--" she motions to the camera man to cut the feed, "We'll be right back."

[MarloCross]

From his seedy hotel room, still mulling over the details of his lawsuit, Jake Sloan looks up at the footage and groans, "Yeah...That's about right." He goes back to his work.